Expansion and Contraction

When I first started walking for distance, one of the things I was hoping to get out of the experience was a much smaller space to focus my attention. Walking seemed to couple a slow enough pace to take things in, and the meditative practice of repetitive motion.

On my first longer distance walk, I remember wondering how I would feel at the end of seventeen miles at about the time I hit the three mile point. Like many other aspects of my life at the time, I was always mentally rushing ahead to some goal or objective pretty far down the path in the future. It took a few months, but after continued practice, I finally began to shrink my world to that one meter of space around me during my time out on the trail.

A curious thing started to happen once I’d finally been able to turn my attention to the very near term during walking. Instead of my world contracting like I suspected it would, my world started to expand. The distances measured by time or space didn’t expand. Those had gotten quite a bit smaller, but my ability to pay attention to things at close range started calling my attention to things I’d been missing as I rushed right past toward the next new experience out on the horizon.

At various times during the preparation for the current walking adventure, I’ve felt the ebb and flow as “my world” expanded at times and then subsequently contracted again in time and space.

 
Walking the Path of the Deer - Grundy County, Iowa

Today, my attention was almost entirely focused on a quarter sized patch of skin on the ball of my right foot between my great toe and my index toe. I have a blister, for no apparent reason, that’s been giving me trouble for a couple of days. Today, that sucka’ was on fire.

I was on another one of Iowa’s numerous and beautiful trails, but all of my mental energy was focused on that one small patch of skin. Every step with my right foot was a searing reminder to be grateful that I still had feet. Still, it was a little distracting from my surroundings.

Eventually, I’d experienced all the fun I could stand for awhile, so I decided to stop and focus all my attention on that one little blister. I would shrink my world to that one discrete spot, and that’s where I would “be” for a moment.

I stood and looked at my feet. My world shrank. The burning fire emanating from somewhere between the insole of my shoe and the bottom of my foot calmed a little. I noticed that I’d been following in the footsteps of a deer that had travelled this same path the last time the trail was wet. My world expanded a little, and the discomfort, though still present, became a little less important.

When I stepped west again, I’d remembered the times I’ve been encouraged to breath into the areas of tightness during a yoga class. The practice of Ujjayi, or ocean, breathing came back. Four beats inhale, four beats exhale, my breathing focused into the bottom of the foot. As the heat built, the discomfort remained, but suddenly the suffering was gone.

Keeping my breath focused into the area of tension on the ball of my right foot, I was once again able to look around.  My world grew a little bit larger.

I passed the Oxbo and John Deere farm equipment dealers in Grundy Center, IA, and I was able to marvel at the complexity of the highboy sprayers and combines that would one day work the miles of cornfields around me. The ebb and flow of expansion and contraction of the walk returned, and I continued on down the road.

Eviction Friday and a Return to Practice

On Friday, I was informed by an email from my "landlord" that we needed to vacate our home in the next forty five days. My response proved less than festive. The rent was paid on time, we acted like good neighbors, we often conducted our own maintenance. The eviction is strictly for the convenience of the landlord so they can move someone else into the property. I have not researched the issue deeply, but apparently, this is legal or at least a grey area of the law.

This news came at the end of a relatively taxing week, so instead of following through with my usual daily practice last night, I made the deliberate decision to get some rest by heading to bed by seven pm.  The decision bore out, and I feel worlds better today.

Additionally, I was able to fully integrate the practice of walking, writing, minimalism, and photography today. The disastrous troubles from the unexpected eviction melted into inconveniences and focused into opportunities as the day wore on.

College Creek Sunset

By the time sunset rolled around, I'd returned to the moment and thoughts of the move which isn't here yet receded to their more appropriate place of something to deal with as the action of the universe unfolds.

Google's rendering of a similar scene

After almost a year, the centeredness that's come with the daily practice enables me to weather this storm without lingering anger and resentment. My thoughts have clarity and focus that would not have been possible before I started shrinking my world through walking, focusing on the now in meditation, and reining in fear through some level of physical and mental discipline.

College Creek Skyscape

As with every evening, I have no idea what tomorrow might hold. If it's anything like yesterday, it certainly won't be boring.  On to a knew place to live. I'm looking forward to it.

Any Given Friday

Today started off normally enough with a shortish hike down the Anacostia River Trail.

Yards Park Bridge Undulating into the Darkness

The weather is warming up nicely, and spring is most certainly in the air. The breeze is still cool, and this is probably one of the most pleasant times of the year to walk. With the passing of Daylight Savings Time it's now possible for me to catch the sunrise before hurrying into the first meeting of the day, and I welcome the return of the light to start the day with a splash of color.

Anacostia Waterfront with USS Barry

I happened to be running a little early this morning, so it was a dusky backdrop when I captured the daily shot of the USS Barry.  We have just a little over a month before she makes her way down the river. 

Later this afternoon, I went for the first jog that I've done since getting out of the boot on my left foot. Five weeks of downtime has led to a degradation in my fitness level that I'm not too keen about. This was particularly obvious because one of my running partners has used her time wisely and has put in some pretty serious distance over the last month. She says she doesn't feel fit or in shape, but she's cut one minute a mile off her split times, and I'm pretty sure she was holding back as I struggled along. Fortunately for me, I'm still about on par with the other partner because it appears he's not taken full advantage of the time to outdistance me.

During the jog, we were crossing the bridge over the railroad tracks near Pennsylvania Avenue, SE, and we came across a man laying in the road surrounded by the police. I'm pretty sure he was dead because no one was really attending to him, he was very still, and on our way back the ambulance left without the lights and siren. It is not the first time I've seen something like that, but it was a little unsettling.

On my commute back from work the family requested a Taco Bell run, and when I pulled up to the drive through I noticed that the mulch surrounding the ordering speaker was involved in a smoldering fire about two feet in diameter. I dispatched the smoky flames with the application of two liters of water and two liters of seltzer from the the back of the car. I made my order, made sure my bean burritos and soft tacos were on their way, and then reported my firefighting efforts to the cashier.  She said that I was the second person to report the smoldering smudge of a fire, and that someone had been dispatched to make sure it had been fully contained.

I've grown to expect some pretty fantastic vistas, although instead of becoming routine I'm growing to appreciate the subtle nuances of these land and waterscapes the more frequently I encounter them.  I didn't expect to run across a man having what appeared to be a relatively unfortunate end ot the afternoon, and after seeing that, I was totally surprised by the opportunity to practice my firefighting skills.

I've said it before, but life is a really remarkable experience when I'm able to focus on being right there in the moments that happen as it unfolds. Looking forward to whatever tomorrow might bring.

Focusing on My Priorities

Today was a bit of a disorganized mess at work. Monday's generally are, but for some reason today seemed like I spent far more energy and focus working on other people's priorities and letting some of the things that I know I need to do for myself slide in order to meet someone else's expectations.

One of the good things that happened today was that I was able to recognize when this was happening. That recognition is a sign of growth. I spent far too much of my life to date working very diligently to fulfill someone else's expectations for what I wanted to do. Following that path has led to a pretty stable existence, but if I'm not careful I'm going to end up regretting not putting enough time into my own agenda.

If I'm blessed with another opportunity tomorrow, I'm going to make some strides in the direction of putting time against my priorities. I have a job application to fill out, and it's not going to get done on its own.  I need to put the time against it because if I don't put my best effort forward toward this opportunity, I know I'm going to regret not taking the chance. It may be one of the handful of things I've ever really pursued for myself. There have been others, but the number is shockingly low for someone who has reached their early 40's.

I am grateful that I've found a way to start growing into my own over the last several years, and now it's time to put some of that hard won knowledge to use.

Hectic Day

Today was a hectic day.  In addition to my walking at the goal pace (11 miles/day this month), there was a soccer match, a soccer party, a college football game, and preparations for a business trip.  There were also meetings in the morning with both relatives and friends to work on connection maintenance.

Although the miles were covered, my mind was running at a faster than normal clip keeping tabs on the days activities, and due to these distractions coming to the forefront of thought there are no pictures to share.  I suspect there were pictures worth taking all along the path, but a what was probably a lapse of mindfulness closed my eyes to them.  Observant presentness are not the words to describe my mental state.

One positive outcome as I wrap up the day was a longer period of sitting quietly than has been the custom of the past.  Like the rest of the day, achieving a settled mind was not happening readily.  Breathing became the focus, and there were some initial attempts at cataloging thoughts and emotions as the entered my consciousness and the attempt was made to let them flow through.

Even with the hectic mind, today was a great day though I'm finding I do not have to pursue diversions with nearly the vigor that was my practice in the past.  In fact, the relentless pursuit of entertainment is becoming more and more unsettling as I travel this journey.

The First Day of Fall 2014...Another Great Day

Sunset Jogging - Spiritual and Physical Synergy

Today was another good day for progress on the Pilgrimage.  I took a jog that covered the sunset, the weather was beautiful, and the view...well, judge for yourself.

Today is the first day of fall, and it is difficult to imagine that in the next sometime in the next several years, the N2N-TCP should be just about wrapping up in the Pacific Northwest on a day that I see as being much like the day that presented itself to me today.  There are quite a few miles to go, but I put in a small part of that distance tonight just before sunset.

One of the unexpected benefits of this focus on the N2N-TCP Adventure is that I am more content, and performing better in the day job that I'm currently spending my time in to earn a living.  The whole idea of this Pilgrimage really started as a means of fantasizing about an escape from (at the time) my current condition.  It's evolved quite a bit from that fantasy without a great deal of effort on my part.  There is something to be learned from that observation.  

Back then, I was well and truly unhappy.  Today things are different.  My circumstances (from the outside looking in) have really not changed all that much.  One could credibly argue, if one were so inclined, that certain aspects are in fact worse from the original thought of walking across the country.  This is not how I view things.  My outlook has shifted, and I believe that shift in perspective is mostly based on the pursuit (however nascent) due to the pursuit of a dream.  It's an expansive dream, and the daily steps are quite small (and therefore manageable), but the pursuit has changed the way I see.  The progress feels quite remarkable.

The First Practice

Google Maps tells me that a walking from Newport, RI to Newport, OR will cover a distance of 3,111 miles and take approximately 1,014 hours to complete.

My initial back of the envelope calculations indicate that to complete the N2N-TCP in 130-150 days assuming a ten-hour walking day, my partner in crime (more on this person later) and I will have to cover about 30 miles per day on average with some float built in for unanticipated outcomes along the way.

After talking this project up for the last several months, it finally occurred to me that I did not have the foggiest idea what walking thirty miles in a day actually felt like.  Forget about the fact that on average we are likely to have to cover that distance for multiple days in a row.  I had no idea what one of those days was going to feel like.

I am not completely inexperienced when it comes to physical experiences.  I have five marathons under my belt including finishing the Marine Corps Marathon four times and finishing the Pensacola Marathon.  Both of these events are great fun (if covering 26.2 miles can accurately be described as fun) and I highly recommend them for anyone contemplating the challenge of covering the marathon distance as a relative novice.  I have also completed two half-marathon distance "races" and participated in a number of shorter distance events.

My partner and crime and I also completed the trek up Longs Peak just outside of Estes Park, CO via the Keyhole Route twice (in much younger days for both of us) and Mount Elbert just outside of Leadville, CO.

All that being said, not that any of it matters anyway, I had no real idea what it felt like to conduct a road hike of any distance.  I decided it might be a good idea here in the early stages of planning for the N2N-TCP, so I set off last Saturday to complete what I described to my family was going to be a fifteen to thirty mile walk in the morning, and that's just (about) what I did.

I suppose you could call the experience a success.  I covered 17.2 miles in just under five hours, and here is what I learned:

The Good

I told my roommates that I intended to complete a fifteen to thirty mile walk on Saturday morning, invited them to participate (no takers), and managed to meet the low end of that milestone within the target time lines.

I now know what it feels like to walk about half the daily average distance that my partner and crime and I are going to have to cover from between 120 and 150 days in a row to capture a title of Transcontinental Pilgrim.  Based on some decisions I made, some mistakes I repeated (that should have been obvious in retrospect), and some poor planning, I'm happy to report that there remains quite a bit of work and progress to achieve over then next 700 days or so.  Put another way...it felt pretty rotten right near the end of the trek, but I'm grateful I made it, didn't have to call my roommates for outside support during the event, and motivated to give it another shot soon.

One of the underlying reasons that the N2N-TCP has been such a compelling idea to me is that I have this desire to shrink my world...to really force myself to live in the moment...to be able to answer (truthfully) the question, "Where are you?" with the answer, "I am here."  To be able to answer the question (again truthfully) the question, "What time is it?" with, "It is now."  This short little jaunt, this practice did achieve that.  At one point on that trail, my whole existence had managed to shrink down to a quarter sized spot on the ball of my right foot...every other step.

That is the good.

The Bad

I had a plan to carry water in my 70 oz CamelBak Urban Assault pack.  It was a good plan that I did not follow.  I figured that I could pick up some water somewhere along the trail.  While theoretically I probably could have executed this back-up plan, I didn't.  That was a mistake.  Five hours of walking on even terrain with very little significant elevation change led to a slight bit of dehydration.  Due to the nature of my environment, this didn't turn into a truly dangerous oversight, but it did lead to a two hour nap after I returned from the trip.  That nap felt fantastic, but I will go to great lengths to avoid the dehydration that turned it from a wonderful diversion to a necessity.

I also forgot some lessons from my marathon days about the discomfort of chaffing and friction.  There are a great many products out there to avoid these discomforts.  I've heard that Body Glide, Mueller Lube Stick, and DZNuts Bliss (for our fairer readers) work quite well.  For me, I going to stick with the old stand-by, Vaseline, due to its ubiquity and low cost.  I suspect that on a 3,111 mile journey ubiquity is going to be a non-trivial positive trait for consumables.  A word of warning, Vaseline does have a tendency to stain clothing, so this may be a consideration if you decide to go this route.

The Ugly

These are my right and left feet.  The blisters are the result of my failure to take into account friction, and an indication that I have some foot toughening as well as footwear selection experimentation to conduct.  That right foot is where I was able to shrink my perspective, so it wasn't all bad.

My partner in crime has a saying..."Physical discomfort is only important when your attitude is wrong."  That's a great perspective that's sometime hard to live up to, but I found myself thinking along these lines during the last three or four miles of The First Practice.

All in all it was a great five hours...I'm glad I did it...and I'm looking forward to Practice #2.