Returning to Normal

Getting back into the swing of things really started to kick into high gear today. For the first time, I interacted with two colleagues who apparently didn't realize that I had not been promoted.  The first one congratulated me on making the cut. That was a bittersweet revelation because I really respect this guy and it seemed that he was a little surprised things had broken left when he thought they'd broken write.  The second one was a well meaning but clueless gent whom babbled on about the most recent decisions without acknowledging I might have even been in the mix.  I kept my tongue and moved on with this lad.  Not advertising my apparent misfortuned seemed the best course of action for him.

All that aside, today was the first day that the recent state of events did not linger at the forefront of my mind. I found enough action afoot to manage to lend a hand without being overbearing or inserting myself in situations that did not require my input. I believe that's the course I will chart going forward. I'm finding that not pursuing things that are outside my scope of responsibility feels like quite a relief.

I also got back to thinking about walking, calisthenics, and photography.

Foggy Sunrise - Mobile, AL

This evening, I headed back into the office to pick up my items for the daily practice of minimalism, and while on the road came across this vista that begged to be captured.

Mobile, AL Skyline with Austal Ship Assembly Bay in the Foreground

This picture doesn't quite to justice to the scene that I stumbled upon, but it gives some idea of the stark industrial beauty of the riverfront landscape in Mobile, AL after the sun has set. After stopping to take in the sights, I picked up my candidates for divestment and headed back to the hotel.

Minimalism Day 5 - Alabama Edition

I left five books in the business center of the hotel. After a bit of arranging, I got them to sit a little like a miniature library. I caught myself imagining that this might become an informal version of the Little Free Library concept. If you see something you like, take it while you're on the road. If you finish something while you're here, drop it off for the next traveller. Perhaps we can all save ourselves nine or ten dollars at the airport when we've exhausted our reading material just before catching the next plane to wherever we're headed.  

I'll track it for the time I'm here, and if it lasts or changes let you know.  This little book exchange hasn't been sanctioned by the hotel, so it would not surprise me to see it disappear entirely in relatively short order, but perhaps it will remain. If it does, I look forward to observing the ebb and flow of the reading material of my fellow travellers. One way or another, my pack got just a little bit lighter, and I now have something to look forward to observing, my own little literary experiment if you will, as the day unfolds tomorrow.

Adding Meditation to the Daily Practice

As you must know by now, I have come to consider my walking as part of my daily practice of trying to live life in a more mindful and in the moment way.  Living in the two meter sphere that surrounds me was one of the chief draws of pedestrianism once I got past the escape (or put another way, geographic cure) aspect of thinking about walking.

For the most part, the walking has been a key part of a movement in my ability to focus more closely on what's going on at any given moment.  It has also led to a greater sense of calm and being within myself.  It has "forced" me to a degree to become more comfortable with what I've come to think of as myself.

I remember pretty distinctly the first long walk I took along the Baltimore and Annapolis Trail.  I remember thinking that I was walking to slow down my thoughts, to live in the moment, and to gain a deeper appreciation for the things that I knew intellectually were flowing past me, but I felt as if they were flowing through me.

Less than half a mile into that walk (which ended up covering a very painful seventeen miles), I was ready to give it all up.  In spite of my best intentions, I could not for the life of me slow down my racing thoughts.  I projected into the future wondering what I was going to feel like at the beginning.  I convinced myself that the distance was literally going to be a walk in the park, and I wanted it over as soon as possible just so I could experience the thrill of being done and then rush off to tell someone all about the connection that I'd experienced.  My thoughts raced to the past and the things I had done to put myself in this position of wanting simultaneously to be connected and escape all in the same moment.

In short, I could not silence my "monkey brain," and I did not know if the effort was going to be successful or a miserable failure.

After about four miles, my feet started to hurt, and eventually that day it took just about all of my will to continue to put one foot after another.  I certainly did not plan that particular walk very well because I was on a trail through the woods, I didn't have any money to call a cab if I wanted to (and by the end I wanted to), and I was worried in the beginning if I was going to achieve the escape and connection that I found myself in the process of seeking.  Hell, I didn't even have close to the right shoes and socks, and I was worried about gaining some spiritual insight.  Looking back on that day, it makes me chuckle a little.

Today, after getting the right shoes and socks (at least for now) after a great deal of trial and error and putting more miles than I ever imagined I would cover under my feet, I have a different perspective on a great many things that I thought I was pursuing.

Where Sunset Occurred on the Anacostia Some Time Before I Managed to Leave the Cubicle Farm to Enjoy It

I have put the idea of walking as an escape behind me.  I pretty quickly realized that walking was a very slow exercise and basically ensured that I would not be able to outpace my own thoughts.

I did however achieve some small degree of being present in the moment that I had not been able to achieve in the past.  It took longer than I thought it would to make the meager progress that I've managed in that regard, but it has been worth the work (and the shoes that have died to make that experience possible).  Covering those kinds of distances on foot was much harder than I imagined, but it also has been and continues to be much more rewarding.

I read something yesterday that triggered me to thinking that I should add meditation to my daily practice of walking.  I immediately did some brief research, and I stumbled upon the idea of a 100 day meditation challenge.

I am starting that challenge (or something like it) today.  Just before sitting the write this little missive, I attempted to meditate by using the breathing techniques my research revealed is a good place to start.  Like the walking, the initial result was not all I had hoped to experience.  I meditated by breathing for eight minutes all the while consciously attempting to quiet my mind and be one with my surroundings.

It turns out that the "monkey brain" has not been banished.  During those eight minutes my mind wandered too and fro.  I thought briefly about what it would feel like to achieve enlightenment (sound familiar because I think I've seen this movie before), I thought about being done so I could write about it, thoughts of reading my book crept in, thoughts of Egypt came to the fore, I imagined a two and a half foot tall golden gorilla made out of bees' wax (??? WTF...Weird, I know), visious of yellow and blue enameled sunflowers intruded, my feet hurt, my legs became cool, and...well, you get the picture.  

That said, there were moments where my breathing was the center, and then even that disappeared.  I became more aware of my surroundings. Crickets that I never noticed before made their presence known. The road noise was surprisingly distracting, but the temperature was just right. Though I'm a meditation neophyte, the walking has given me the faith that with practice, and incremental improvement, I too can experience the being in the now and deliberately put myself into that space that exists.  I feel very good about this initial attempt even though I suspect that the path is not easy, but it will be worth it.  Namaste.

Driving

Lest you start thinking of me as a one dimensional character with all the talk of walking, I thought I'd let you into some of my observations about driving.

Not too many months ago, my commute to and from work were the worst two hours of my existence.  I was generally irritated if not completely irate that up to 1/12 of my life five days a week was being consumed behind the wheel of a car, surrounded, apparently, by idiots intent on making the time even worse than it already was through their behavior clearly directed at adding as much angst to my life as possible.  I sat in my car, in terrible traffic, and stewed in my own sauce while listening to the radio.  It was a real pity party, and there was certainly an untamed element of ego that peppered my thinking.

Sunset in the Rearview Mirror

Fortunately for my own sanity, much of unproductive and undisciplined emoting is receding in the rearview mirror.  By slowing down my pace (literally) in other areas of my life, I was able to begin to develop what I think is a more balanced outlook on that 1/12 of my life five days a week that is still used during my commute.

One of the first things I realized was just how glorious it is to be in a car.  Climate controlled and out of the rain, wind, cold, heat, etc. and zipping along at a blistering clip, I really didn't have very much to rue.  I also realized that those idiots around my that I egotistically imagined were going out of their way to inconvenience me were actually a bunch of other folks just like me.  That had their own worries, their own stresses, their own joys and challenges.  They weren't thinking about me at all.  I stopped the imaginary competition for the speediest route, the optimal lane placement, and the quickest line and started looking around and just enjoy being in my little steel encased environment.

About this time, I also realized that I had a phone, and I could reach out and interact with the people that I did know.  I now routinely spend just a little less than 50 hours a month on the phone with Rory Conlan, the bulk of which is during the commuting time that I used to dread.  We talk about whatever happens to strike our fancy.  It's not always entertaining, but I do always learn something.  I don't know if it's the best way to dual task during the relative downtime during commuting, but I do know it is almost infinitely better than thinking about how I've been wronged by the universe and feeling sorry for myself.

Today on the drive home, I noticed yet another sunset that begged to be captured in pixels.  The sun glinted in the rearview mirror, off the glossy white paint of the car, and was double reflected in the mirror and the rear driver side window.  The reflections were what really struck me, and I find myself often finding scenes worthy of being called art (rendered by nature) in the myriad of reflective surfaces that surround us all every day.  I didn't used to see these subtle, but beautiful splashes of color and drama.  I was moving too fast and was far to inwardly focused on my own darkness to appreciate the forces of light that were all around.

Slowing things down a little has given me the freedom to appreciate that the universe isn't out to get me.  On the contrary it's conspiring to make me successful every moment that I allow that realization to break through my own hardheadedness.  It's a better way of living...hell, even my pictures have gotten more colorful over time.  Just hit the label "Commute" and judge for yourself.

Getting Back to Normality

I finally got some much needed rest this morning, and the routine has begun to reassert itself.  Three or four years ago, I would have probably chafed at bit at this sort of realization, but right now it feels pretty good.  I got in a little over twelve miles of pedestrian time, and "the Rat" even joined me for a couple.  I even managed to coax a couple of panoramic mash-ups out of Google.  This time they were of "the same" scene taken at two different times of day.  The act of creation in every moment really just doesn't get old to me if I'm manage to be mindful enough to observe what's going on.

Pusher Tug and Deck Barge at the Seawall near the corner of Turner Joy Road .. AM

When I took the shots that Google cobbled together, I was thinking that this was the early signs that the "Dark Ages" were going to start becoming an increasingly prominent feature of the walking environment. That's probably true, but my melancholy prediction was probably just a little premature.  The weather today was just about perfect.

Pusher Tug and Deck Barge near the corner of Turner Joy Road ... PM

Not quite the same perspective as this morning, but the return of the offshore regatta livened up the scene just a bit.  The clouds stuck around, but by this time the chill of the morning had been banished and the warmth of the sun had returned.  This may have been the last truly good boating weekend of the season, but we'll just have to wait and see how that plays out going forward.

Capturing the Imagination...or Should We Talk About Freeing It?

I've walked past the Folger Shakespeare Library probably hundreds (low hundreds mind you, but hundreds) of times, and it often has a way of drawing me toward it.  I've never been inside...yet.  I believe I've even written about the nine bas reliefs that adorn the front of the building between the two main entrances.  My favorite is certainly the characters from A Midsommer Night's Dream.  Thanks to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, you can access a copy of the entire play at this link.

As I was walking by today, it struck me to take some time and capture images of the nine bas reliefs, and a collage of those photos appears below, and a brief description of the white Georgia marble sculptures is outline on the Library's website.  There is also a brief mention at the National Park Service website, but sadly, I cannot find any written description of why these particular nine plays of thirty-seven credited to William were chosen to adorn the library.

At the time of the walk, I was pondering how the building, the contents, and the works of the playwright that the Library honors and preserves captures my imagination.

Nine Bas Relief Sculptures Gracing the Front of the Folger Shakespeare Library, Washington, DC

When I got home this evening, the movie Hugo had been chosen as the entertainment for the evening during dinner.  This evening was the second time I've seen the film, and I am forced to admit that the camera work, the story, the actresses and actors, and just about every aspect of this movie evokes strong emotions.  I think it is a movie about loss, love, adventure, and whimsy. It is also a film about the power of imagination.

Both of these experiences today have me questioning the whole notion of something capturing the imagination.  I don't find that description particularly apt because what great works imagined and rendered by the likes of Shakespeare, Martin Scorsese, Brian Selznick, John Logan, and Georges Melies really do are free the imagination from the day to day activities.  They allow me (and others presumably) to suspend logic and rationality, habit and custom, and they encourage one to think of the apparently impossible as not only possible, but likely.  It is a great gift that they give the rest of us, and it's heartening in the pursuit of a vision. Freeing the imagination is what we all must do if we're going to be successful in addressing the challenges that are coming our way.

A Short Posting to Wrap Up a Long Week

Today was a pretty good day in the walking arena.  I put in 15.3 miles on the day, and although I'm a little tired, overall I feel pretty good.  Additionally, early this morning, I finally pushed the right buttons or pulled the right levers to get the algorithms at Google to spit out the panoramic shot of the Capitol Building that I've been trying to get.

Capitol Building Panoramic shot just before sunrise

It's probably a little obsessive to pursue this shot over the course of two days, but I really do like the way it finally turned out.  It's a good enough photo to end a long week on, and hopefully, a more diverse inspiration will strike facing forward.

It's Been Quite Awhile

Ironically, just after I posted about my intentions of posting more frequently (once a day if I recall correctly), I took about 11 months off.

There are plenty of excuses I could use, and I did pick up my walking quite a bit shortly thereafter, but suffice it to say that the intentions while good were insufficient to keep me headed in the right direction.  C'est la vie.  I have had some fantastic experiences during that time, and I'll leave you with a photo to whet the appetite.  As mentioned, my walking picked up quite a bit, and that effort to shrink the world and slow down a little has become quite paradoxically one of the more expansive efforts that I've ever experienced.  It's been a great trudge, and I'll leave you with a picture from the time that I've been away.

Sunset over Mobile, Alabama

One Page a Day, Increment Two

Sunset Reflected in the Back Window of the Car

Today I really didn't make any great strides along the path to the cross country pilgrimage, but I am trying to follow the example of the inventor of Pringles, and at least make an attempt at putting in my one page a day.  I suppose I'll count this under the category of Intellectual Practice, and chalk up a win for the Adventure.

I was reminded last week that more often than not taking action often precedes the development of faith.  That is not how I've lived a great deal of my life, and I would describe it as counterintuitive except that characterization flies in the face of a great deal of evidence to the contrary.  The way I have thought of my life during much of my adult life is that faith (be it in a greater power or divinity, myself, or any other entity really)  precedes the action.  I say that this flies in the face of a great deal of evidence principally because when I look back on the way things really unfold, I discover that action is often the precursor of faith when I feel that things are going my way.  Put another way, I've been living my adult life with a ready made excuse for inaction.

It falls along the same lines as acting my way to right thinking rather than thinking my way to right acting.  Maybe it's just me, but I actually find that when I try to intellectualize my way forward in the absence of physical action, the results are often not what I had planned or hoped to achieve.  A more objective view, in light of the empirical evidence, suggests that because I live a spiritual existence in a physical plane and that my principle means of influencing this existence resides in the physical plane, it makes sense that faith follows action and not the other way around.

My habit of generally trying to build faith that will lead to action seems to be one of those characteristics that I must overcome on this journey from coast to coast.  I've heard Rory put it another way.  He's been quoted from time to time saying something along the lines of, "Do something...even if it's wrong."  That's good advice.

It's a bit frustrating that I've spent so much of my adult life trying to stand this sage advice on its head and going about the building of faith in a far less effective manner.  It's also frustrating that when I spend the time to closely observe the way my children interact with their world, they appear to take action in the pursuit of faith.  This tendency manifests itself in their physical courage, and their apparent instinctual ability to act in the pursuit of confidence or faith.  I don't really know where I learned to be so deliberate, but I suspect that I've reached the point of diminishing returns and it's time to revert to those more fearless roots.  The past is the past, and I'll let you know how the present is going.

The First Day of Fall 2014...Another Great Day

Sunset Jogging - Spiritual and Physical Synergy

Today was another good day for progress on the Pilgrimage.  I took a jog that covered the sunset, the weather was beautiful, and the view...well, judge for yourself.

Today is the first day of fall, and it is difficult to imagine that in the next sometime in the next several years, the N2N-TCP should be just about wrapping up in the Pacific Northwest on a day that I see as being much like the day that presented itself to me today.  There are quite a few miles to go, but I put in a small part of that distance tonight just before sunset.

One of the unexpected benefits of this focus on the N2N-TCP Adventure is that I am more content, and performing better in the day job that I'm currently spending my time in to earn a living.  The whole idea of this Pilgrimage really started as a means of fantasizing about an escape from (at the time) my current condition.  It's evolved quite a bit from that fantasy without a great deal of effort on my part.  There is something to be learned from that observation.  

Back then, I was well and truly unhappy.  Today things are different.  My circumstances (from the outside looking in) have really not changed all that much.  One could credibly argue, if one were so inclined, that certain aspects are in fact worse from the original thought of walking across the country.  This is not how I view things.  My outlook has shifted, and I believe that shift in perspective is mostly based on the pursuit (however nascent) due to the pursuit of a dream.  It's an expansive dream, and the daily steps are quite small (and therefore manageable), but the pursuit has changed the way I see.  The progress feels quite remarkable.

Facing Forward...The Second Trial Run (or Walk that is)

The Way Forward on the Second Course of Ground Work

Last weekend, I managed to put the rat race behind me for a relatively short period and conduct the second of what I'm currently calling my training walks.  The concept of training for a Transcontinental Pilgrimage (TCP) strikes me as a bit laughable on the surface of things, but until someone can suggest a more clever title, that's what I'll call these relatively short weekend jaunts for now.

To a degree they do provide some of the escapism that I believe I was seeking when the idea of the TCP first entered my mind.  I found that reflecting back on my first training walk and planning for this one was a much needed diversion from the monotonous bureaucratic grind of the current method I've landed for earning a living.

This walk was just 10.2 miles covered in the space of 3 hours and 01 minutes.  For the math wizards in the audience, you will no doubt note that the pace was just a bit off from the first training walk.  I would be fibbing a bit if I said I wasn't a bit disappointed in that factoid, but as soon as that thought enters my mind, I intellectually understand that particular reaction is an almost Pavlovian response to the some of the very aspects of the rat race that I'm trying to distance myself from.  It's an indication that I have some additional "spiritual," or at the very least attitudinal, work left to do.

All that said, it was a good walk.  I was able to cover the entire distance of what may become one of my principal training routes over the course of two weeks.  As you can see by the picture, I conducted the walk in  the rain.  Interestingly enough, the weather was not such a bother and a little wrinkle in the planning that I found injected a wee bit o' apprehension and challenge to the whole event.  I have a bit of a taste for chaos (more on that later perhaps), so I drew upon this minor adversity in satisfying ways.

I continued to have a minor vexation with blisters, but this last longer walking experience has shifted my butt, and I've continued to take action to mitigate this development.  I'm applying a salve derived from some things suggested in hiking and ultra-marathon forums.  It's pretty early in that process, so I'll report on the results after a little more run time.

One final note.  I looked back on the post documenting my first training walk, and I noticed that I managed to violate an idea that's been maturing in my experience over the last several months that characterizing events or experiences as good and bad is becoming less and less valuable as I get older.  This "philosophy," if you will is relatively knew and probably warrants an explanation all to itself (more on that later I think), but suffice it to say for now that narrowly bucketing any of the experiences associated with living as good or bad is intellectually lazy at best.

I am grateful to have experienced this last walk, and I'm looking forward (but not too far forward) to whatever comes as a result of this endeavor.