Route Planning IV - Tension in the Expedition Party

I’m a little bit frustrated with Rory right now. I probably shouldn’t be writing this, but let’s face it, he’s probably not going to take the time to look at the blog anyway. I suspect I’m safe from being discovered. If I’m wrong about that, it will be yet another example of how bad I am at predicting the future, but I’m pretty sure I’m on solid ground this time.

I’m frustrated because of our morning phone conversation. I’m frustrated because I think I’ve been doing a pretty good job of planning and preparing for the N2N-TCP while holding down a day job with a non-trivial commuting burden. I’m frustrated a little because he has what I perceived to be loads of discretionary time. He also seems to want to wax philosophically about planning, but he doesn’t seem to want to do any of it.

Today, he laid out the case for the fact that “we” haven’t planned enough and that all we’ve really done is to put together a “vision” for the N2N-TCP. On that assertion, I agree that we really do need to buckle down and start planning the final details associated with the pilgrimage. Here’s where I think we need to focus our efforts:

1. Drafting a general letter of introduction to people or organizations that may be in a position to help with the execution of the pilgrimage. Like a logo or a brand, time spent on this type of activity has a very good chance of paying off in multiple locations an multiple scenarios. For example, I think we would be well served to introduce our proposed effort to the Cities of Newport, RI and Newport, OR. I’m not sure if this pilgrimage is going to generate any public interest, but if it does these two cities might want to capitalize on the publicity. I also think a letter of introduction would be useful in trying to drum up support for major logistics companies like Amazon or Sam’s/Walmart. Logistics in Nebraska seems to one of Rory’s major concerns since he keeps bringing it up, but other than research a pull cart, he hasn’t done a whole lot to address the concern. Getting a professional organization to help with the logistics aspects of the walk would be a real coup d'etat. It would also be a whole lot less physical work than pulling a cart.
2. We need to start purchasing our gear for the walk. There’s a couple of reasons behind this push. First, it would be nice to get a little experience with the equipment before we strike out in the event that we decide it needs to be replaced. Second, this is going to be a pretty expensive endeavor, and spreading out the burn rate is probably going to serve us well. When I refer to gear, I’m really talking about the major items that we’re going to need to accomplish the trip. In my mind this includes packs, sleeping bags, sleeping mats, and shelter. I’d thought Rory and I had decided to start off the trip with a single two man tent. This is by far the most weight efficient set-up. I’m pretty sure I asked Rory if he’d like to do enough research to make a recommendation. I’m not sure we ever closed out that perceived action.

Long story short, I think we’re getting to the stage of the project that we need to start closely coordinating and EXECUTING our planning process. For whatever reason, Rory and I don’t seem to be in alignment on what aspects of the planning execution need to be prioritized. I’ve asked him to provide an initial comprehensive list of focus areas by the end of the week. That will give us both a good picture of the differences in our approach (if any). We’ll see if he follows through on putting together the list. It’ll tell me a lot about how much work we have to accomplish.

I Am....

One of the greatest gifts that planning for the Newport to Newport Transcontinental Pilgrimage has delivered to my doorstep is the way that planning for the walk has shaped the way my internal dialog proceeds. One of the reasons I started walking at all was to shrink my world down to the one meter around me in my immediate vicinity. Somehow, I thought that slowing down and moving through space at a bipedal pace would allow me to connect a little better with the moment than I’d been able to previously accomplish in my life.

I didn’t start small. The first training walk I tried for the N2N-TCP was a seventeen mile jaunt on the Baltimore & Annapolis Trail that follows the old rail line that used to run from, you guessed it, Baltimore and Annapolis, MD. Needless to say, the tracks are (mostly gone), and they’ve been replaced by a nine foot wide asphalt mixed used path that’s about eighteen or nineteen miles long.

On that first walk, one of the things I noticed right off the bat was that I had an internal dialog going on in my head. I’d never really paid that much attention to it, if I’d noticed it at all. For the first several miles of that walk, I remember asking myself and answering a series of questions. Weird, huh? I thought so at the time. Some examples of questions were, “I wonder what this is going to feel like at the end of seventeen miles?” “Is this a crazy idea?” I’m pretty out of shape...I wonder if I can even make it that far?” What am I going to do if I can’t go the distance?’ Since this is an out and back, am I going to realize early enough that I’m not going to make it and be able to turn around in time to avoid calling a cab? Probably not, and oh, shit...I didn’t bring any money. That was dumb.”

Interestingly enough, I tried to answer some of those questions, but the answers I came up with for any particular question were often mutually exclusive and, as such, pretty nonsensical. Fortunately, after about the first three miles the committee in my head quieted down, and I started to pay more attention to what was going on with my feet. When you’re on a seventeen mile walk and your feet start hurting about three miles into it, you think you might be in trouble. You’re not wrong about that.

Anyway, after a lot of reading and a lot of soul searching and talking to a lot of people much wiser than me, I’ve decided that if I’m going to be stuck with this internal dialog, and I haven’t found a reliable way to get rid of it yet, I might as well use it affirmatively to bolster the pursuit my goals.

In this regard, I’ve started to use the phrase “I am….” as a starting point when thinking about where I am going and what I’d like to accomplish. What I’ve found is that if I can say, “I am….” in pursuit of a goal, the phrase shifts my mindset in subtle ways and makes accomplishing those goals a little bit easier. Instead of questioning my own experience, or even sanity, it allows me to get beyond those moments of doubt and start taking action in pursuit of a dream.

In pursuit of the Newport to Newport Transcontinental Pilgrimage, I’ve managed to mostly convince myself of the following things.

I am a pilgrim.
I am a long distance walker.
I am an ultralight backpacker.
I am a photographer.
I am a writer.
I am a cartographer.

I am an explorer.
I am an expedition leader.
I am able to talk to strangers and ask them for help.
I am observant.
I am tougher than I think.
I am a yoga master.
I am creative.
I have something to share.
I am a graphic designer.
I have a vision.
I am a marketer.
I am an advertising executive.
I am a survivor.

Now, I don’t know if all of these affirmations are true. There are probably some pretty credible arguments out there that I’m not really a yoga master. That said, after six months of continuous practice, I’m a lot closer to mastery now than I was back in January of this year.

I’m not sure I would have believed I could be any of these things if it had not been for the epic framework of the pilgrimage to force me into taking on some of these challenges.

What is your internal dialog telling you? What might you accomplish if you just assume that you are the thing you want to be? Do you have a dream that you’ve ignored for some time due to fear or responsibility or because you think someone might think it’s silly?

Go after that dream. You might be surprised when you find the talents your mind and body have been hiding from you. Speak what you want to be boldly and tell the universe that “I am….” The universe will come to your aid.