The Universe Speaks

Early in this blog, I think I talked a little about some of my reasons for planning and eventually striking off on the Newport to Newport Transcontinental Pilgrimage, but it’s probably worth addressing the reasons again.

“Take a Walk - Still not Done” -- The Universe

Way back in 2012, I was a having a tough time at work and in my personal life.  Hey, it probably happens to all of us, but for me, I was just ready to escape. During this time, I thought about taking a long walk.  Walking would allow me to shrink my world to about the meter around me. It would allow me to slow down and actually see things instead of just rushing past in a blur.  No matter what happened, I believed I could always just walk.

Things got better as they often do, but the idea of taking a long walk just wouldn’t go away.  I told my Dad about it to get rid of the idea. It worked. He called it a little crazy and irresponsible.  Two weeks later he called back and had decided it might be an adventure.

We both started to train.  Hours out in the sun and rain and snow.  Sore legs and blisters. Nothing would make the idea of a long distance walk go away.

I finally decided that the Universe had sent me this idea for a reason, and the only thing left to do was to make the idea a reality.

Today, jut outside of Madison, NY, the Universe sent us another message.  “Take a Walk - Still not Done.”

I have no idea why some graffiti artist decided to paint that phrase on a barn alongside US Highway 20 in central New York.  It doesn’t make any sense, but there it was today. I’m left to conclude that the Universe is still sending us a message.

“Take a Walk - Still not Done”

                   -- The Universe

We read you loud and clear.

Run Toward Your Dreams

Progress in the direction of the N2N-TCP is gaining momentum.  After a lackluster year of physical training last year because of my broken foot in January 2016, I've changed shoes, gotten some downtime for healing, and I'm back out on the trail.  Yesterday was a sunrise and sunset day, and it was truly spectacular. The trail stretched between the two, and the walking itself was just exactly what I needed as well.

Squeezing the Last Fire Out of the Day - College Creek - Annapolis, MD

In addition to walking, Rory Conlan and I have engaged the help of a great graphics designer to help us out with a logo to represent the walk.  It's something we've been kicking around for about two years now, and while we came up with some concepts, I'm really excited to see what a professional can do with this crazy idea we're pursuing.

I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, but I know that as long as we're willing to take the next step toward our dreams the universe is conspiring to deliver exactly what we need.  What started as an escape has transformed itself into a goal, and I'm having the time of my life.

Leaning Into the Dream

A series of events happened this week that have pushed me deeper into pursuing the dream of walking from Newport, RI to Newport, OR.  It's been awhile since I told the tale of the beginning of this journey, but it's worth recapping a short version of the story here.

About four years ago (almost to the day really), I had managed to earn my way into a very dark place in my life. I couldn't stand staying where I was, and I really couldn't imagine moving forward. All I really wanted to do was escape, and the notion crossed my mind to drop my job, my possessions, and all other attachments and strike out on the road headed west.  I was in terrible physical shape, and I had no real plan other than to escape the pain that I'd created for myself. It was a silly escape fantasy, and fortunately for me I went in another direction.

The narrative of that branch of the trail is a completely different story, so I'll let it sit for now, but about a year later, I found myself in a much better place.  I'd begun the process of shedding my demons, and my physical fitness was on the mend. My thinking had changed from a feeling of crushing entrapment to optimism.  My work, relationships, finances...almost everything that defines the standard notion of the "American Dream" had improved.  One thing that I kept from that dark morass of hopelessness was the notion of the walk.

I have no inkling why this idea proved to be so sticky. There was nothing really to escape from at this point, but there the idea sat...percolating. I decided something had to be done.  The idea was crazy. It was irresponsible. There was just no way to "earn a living" (more on this notion of earning a living in a later post) walking across America. Something had to be done to rid myself of this idea, so one day I mentioned it to Rory Conlan (you know him, the guy who is overdue on his once every six month post promising more posts).

Rory is a responsible sort. I've even accused him of having an overdeveloped sense of responsibility from time to time. He's steady, practical, and traditional. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would hate the idea of walking across America. He'd tell me it was irresponsible. Crazy. Not the right thing to be thinking about doing much less seriously planning on doing it. I'd verbalize the sticky idea, and he'd give me all the logical reasons it should be discounted immediately. I was not wrong.

Rory performed admirably. He laid out his case. He reacted with great skepticism. He went through a long list of reasons that it couldn't and shouldn't be done. He appealed to the irresponsibility of it all. He poured cold water all over my silly notion. The flames had gone out, and I left that conversation with only a little ember of thought that I was sure would fade with time.  My plan to get rid of the idea had worked.

Two weeks later, I was on a call with Rory, and he brought up the walk. He asked me where I had thought it might happen. I'd done some initial research, so I said the thought before he killed it had been to walk from Newport, RI to Newport, OR largely along US Highway 20. I hadn't named the walk yet, but that was about as far as I'd gotten.

I began to get a little anxious. Rory was making positive sounds. Then he did what I thought was about a 50/50 chance when I first told him about the walk. He said it sounded like a fine adventure. The embers of the idea burst back into a little flame.

Over the coming months he and I talked about the idea more and more. We both did more research. We talked about ideas for funding it. I wondered what it would feel like to walk 3300 miles, and I wondered how long it would take. I eventually settled on a 30 mile per day target, and we continued to talk. Eventually the talk led to action, and we both began to train.

We've had setbacks since then, and we're still not out on the road. Lot's of things have happened in my life, but the dream of the walk continues to be pushed to fruition through work and the gentle hand circumstances beyond my control. Just this week, I was given the gift of more discretionary time to work toward the dream that is slowly becoming the Newport to Newport Transcontinental Pilgrimage (N2N-TCP).

College Creek Sunset (from a few days ago) - Annapolis, MD

I continue to encounter enriching experiences along this journey. I've gotten outside. I stopped watching television. Many of my worries, things that I once thought were important enough to drive my anxiety level higher than warranted, have vanished.  Today, I've walked eight miles, and I'll probably get in a few more.

I don't know what will happen tomorrow, but four years later, we're closer to the dream of the N2N-TCP than ever before.  I'm enjoying the trail, and I'll keep pushing forward.

Contemplating Conciousness

Earlier this evening, I wondered a bit about the apparent magic that constitutes life and consciousness. It's not a new pondering for humans. My thoughts represent nothing particularly creative. I wondered if my body is merely the armor that surrounds and sustains a dream. We have science and religion, but I don't think that either of those areas of study really get to the heart of what it means to be alive. To experience this dream.

Is it a firing of electrons due to chemical reactions, or does it have a more supernatural origin. If life is a dream or imagination or work of art, what is behind any of these explanation of my individual experience of the world? I don't know.

I know that I feel grateful I can experience the unfolding of living and loss. I'm grateful I can bear witness to the ever present change that gives every appearance of progressing toward something that is greater than anything that has come before now. To understand both the sadness and the hope when familiar locations move through time and space and vanish as if they were never there in the first place.

USS Barry on the Anacostia - Aft Mast Removed

The slow transition of the Barry is an example of the relentless march of change. The hopes, dreams, work, angst, tears, joy, sunrises, sunsets, wind, calm, heat, cold, dark, and burning light that has passed over and through this great ship, this magnificent monument to the ingenuity and determination of humans is almost unfathomable. The ship gives the impression of solidity, but molecular science tells us that it's mostly empty space. With all that the ship has witnessed, she's slowing being undone by time and change.  Today, her aft mast had been removed in preparation for her last trip down the Potomac. The work was done by a crane that I last crossed paths with over ten years ago in another time, another place, another set of feelings. Venice, LA had been wrecked by Hurricane Katrina. Our group butted heads with the sheriff of  Plaquemines Parish. The crane moved the mangled shrimp boats out of the bayou and back to the river so folks could start rebuilding their lives. We worked and laughed and saw everyday the grim reminder of our powerlessness in the universe. We persisted, and things got a little better.

Today was the twelfth day of moving things out of my life that I no longer value in the same way that I once valued them.

Minimalism Day 12

Some clothes and some books that all meant something special to me at one time have suffered the same march of change that's happening to the USS Barry. These things have passed through me and with me in my travels in time and space. I carry the memories of the text in my dreams. The thoughts on the page continue to spark my imaginings of the future.

In the final accounting, I suspect that the best any of us can hope for is to bear witness to the wonder that is unfolding around us in every moment. These things were, at one time, a tangible part of that great unfolding, but for me those moments have passed.

Like the sailors who walked the decks of the Barry, time, tide, and formation have shifted. The young man in the gun came back and visited to see the place that had shaped his life a long time ago and a world away on the gunline off the coast of Vietnam or quarantine enforcement in the Caribbean Sea during the Cuban Missile Crisis.

I'm not sure what change tomorrow may bring, but I hope to be ready for whatever the sunrise may reveal.

This Is Where the Magic Happens

During political season, or in other words anytime there is national election in progress, it is difficult to rationalize the picture of Washington, DC that is being painted in the press with the Washington, DC where I spend most of my waking hours and earn my keep. I didn't really understand civics until I came to work in this city, and the organization that I work for has a culture of questioning the judgement or at least being highly skeptical of the motivations of folks that also earn their living in this town.

This is Where the Magic Happens - Capitol Building - Washington, DC

I know it's not necessarily very popular right now, but I've really grown to love this city. I've also grown to appreciate the robust nature of the system of government that has been in place, largely unchanged, over the last 250 years. We're a young country yet, but we're beginning to get a little history. I've come to believe in the strength of the representative system and the wisdom of how that system uses the loves and fears, the logic and emotions of the American to steadily, but not necessarily smoothly, make progress.

Those ideals are easy to forget in the rhetoric of the campaign system, but when I get out in the open air and away from the two dimensional analogies that come across the flat screens of technology, I'm reminded of the enduring principles that have guided us to this point so far.

There are things to be learned, and philosophies that still need more exploration and credence, but from a Western industrial perspective the way this place is run has been very good to me.

I believe that we're standing on the edge of an epoch where the first two or three layers of Maslow's hierarchy of needs are achievable on a global scale, and the challenges we face are coming to terms with this stunning technological achievement. If we can come to terms with this new(ish) reality, we can make progress on the next levels of respect and self actualization as individuals. 

When I think of what we have in terms of the the responsibility (as well as the opportunity) that they confer on us, I sense a daunting challenge ahead. A friend of mine remarked that he wished the current crop of political candidates would lay out a vision for the future that looks forward, and instead, he senses that we're falling backward into fear. I don't think he's wrong, and I don't really know how to fix things. I do believe he is vocalizing a great need that is lying dormant, waiting for someone to lead the way to that better vision.

I have another friend that believes the dangers are too great, and that only through a rebirth will we be able to realize those aspirational goals. I fall on the optimistic side of thing, and think we stand on the brink of a great opportunity that carries great responsibility.

US Capitol Building on a Beautiful Spring Afternoon

For now, I'll walk and record my observations, hopes and dreams here.  The time for action is drawing close, and I hope I'm ready for it no matter what form that it takes. I'll look forward to tomorrow and offer help where I find a need.

Expanding Horizons

Today, listening to a TED Talk from 2009 during my afternoon ambulation, I was introduced to Singularity University.  This center for continuing and higher education was established in 2009 as a partnership between Google and the NASA Ames laboratory.  I like to think of myself as pretty well connected, but this is definitely a new and interesting topic for me.

I've written a little about why I started walking, and the practice has most definitely expanded my horizons in a much greater manner than I ever imagined that it might. For one thing, I imagined that the whole idea of walking longish distances was rooted in shrinking my world down to the one meter diameter in my immediate vicinity. In the physical world, the practice has most certainly done that to a degree, but the expansive nature of taking the time to reflect and contemplate on my role in the world is not something that I ever imagined would be a byproduct of the time spent on the road.

Automobile Bridge across College Creek

I don't know where all this is leading, but it feels to me like it's leading me in the direction that I should have been headed all along. My mind has opened to opportunities that I never imagined existed. As the asphalt passes under my feet, I find myself dreaming of adventure again. That feeling is something that's eluded me over the last several years, and it is fulfilling to see a glimmer of that vision begin to return.

It was a great day, and I look forward to the gift of another.