One of the greatest gifts that planning for the Newport to Newport Transcontinental Pilgrimage has delivered to my doorstep is the way that planning for the walk has shaped the way my internal dialog proceeds. One of the reasons I started walking at all was to shrink my world down to the one meter around me in my immediate vicinity. Somehow, I thought that slowing down and moving through space at a bipedal pace would allow me to connect a little better with the moment than I’d been able to previously accomplish in my life.
I didn’t start small. The first training walk I tried for the N2N-TCP was a seventeen mile jaunt on the Baltimore & Annapolis Trail that follows the old rail line that used to run from, you guessed it, Baltimore and Annapolis, MD. Needless to say, the tracks are (mostly gone), and they’ve been replaced by a nine foot wide asphalt mixed used path that’s about eighteen or nineteen miles long.
On that first walk, one of the things I noticed right off the bat was that I had an internal dialog going on in my head. I’d never really paid that much attention to it, if I’d noticed it at all. For the first several miles of that walk, I remember asking myself and answering a series of questions. Weird, huh? I thought so at the time. Some examples of questions were, “I wonder what this is going to feel like at the end of seventeen miles?” “Is this a crazy idea?” I’m pretty out of shape...I wonder if I can even make it that far?” What am I going to do if I can’t go the distance?’ Since this is an out and back, am I going to realize early enough that I’m not going to make it and be able to turn around in time to avoid calling a cab? Probably not, and oh, shit...I didn’t bring any money. That was dumb.”
Interestingly enough, I tried to answer some of those questions, but the answers I came up with for any particular question were often mutually exclusive and, as such, pretty nonsensical. Fortunately, after about the first three miles the committee in my head quieted down, and I started to pay more attention to what was going on with my feet. When you’re on a seventeen mile walk and your feet start hurting about three miles into it, you think you might be in trouble. You’re not wrong about that.
Anyway, after a lot of reading and a lot of soul searching and talking to a lot of people much wiser than me, I’ve decided that if I’m going to be stuck with this internal dialog, and I haven’t found a reliable way to get rid of it yet, I might as well use it affirmatively to bolster the pursuit my goals.
In this regard, I’ve started to use the phrase “I am….” as a starting point when thinking about where I am going and what I’d like to accomplish. What I’ve found is that if I can say, “I am….” in pursuit of a goal, the phrase shifts my mindset in subtle ways and makes accomplishing those goals a little bit easier. Instead of questioning my own experience, or even sanity, it allows me to get beyond those moments of doubt and start taking action in pursuit of a dream.
I didn’t start small. The first training walk I tried for the N2N-TCP was a seventeen mile jaunt on the Baltimore & Annapolis Trail that follows the old rail line that used to run from, you guessed it, Baltimore and Annapolis, MD. Needless to say, the tracks are (mostly gone), and they’ve been replaced by a nine foot wide asphalt mixed used path that’s about eighteen or nineteen miles long.
On that first walk, one of the things I noticed right off the bat was that I had an internal dialog going on in my head. I’d never really paid that much attention to it, if I’d noticed it at all. For the first several miles of that walk, I remember asking myself and answering a series of questions. Weird, huh? I thought so at the time. Some examples of questions were, “I wonder what this is going to feel like at the end of seventeen miles?” “Is this a crazy idea?” I’m pretty out of shape...I wonder if I can even make it that far?” What am I going to do if I can’t go the distance?’ Since this is an out and back, am I going to realize early enough that I’m not going to make it and be able to turn around in time to avoid calling a cab? Probably not, and oh, shit...I didn’t bring any money. That was dumb.”
Interestingly enough, I tried to answer some of those questions, but the answers I came up with for any particular question were often mutually exclusive and, as such, pretty nonsensical. Fortunately, after about the first three miles the committee in my head quieted down, and I started to pay more attention to what was going on with my feet. When you’re on a seventeen mile walk and your feet start hurting about three miles into it, you think you might be in trouble. You’re not wrong about that.
Anyway, after a lot of reading and a lot of soul searching and talking to a lot of people much wiser than me, I’ve decided that if I’m going to be stuck with this internal dialog, and I haven’t found a reliable way to get rid of it yet, I might as well use it affirmatively to bolster the pursuit my goals.
In this regard, I’ve started to use the phrase “I am….” as a starting point when thinking about where I am going and what I’d like to accomplish. What I’ve found is that if I can say, “I am….” in pursuit of a goal, the phrase shifts my mindset in subtle ways and makes accomplishing those goals a little bit easier. Instead of questioning my own experience, or even sanity, it allows me to get beyond those moments of doubt and start taking action in pursuit of a dream.
In pursuit of the Newport to Newport Transcontinental Pilgrimage, I’ve managed to mostly convince myself of the following things.
I am a pilgrim.
I am a long distance walker.
I am an ultralight backpacker.
I am a photographer.
I am a writer.
I am a cartographer.
I am a pilgrim.
I am a long distance walker.
I am an ultralight backpacker.
I am a photographer.
I am a writer.
I am a cartographer.
I am an explorer.
I am an expedition leader.
I am able to talk to strangers and ask them for help.
I am observant.
I am tougher than I think.
I am a yoga master.
I am creative.
I have something to share.
I am a graphic designer.
I have a vision.
I am a marketer.
I am an advertising executive.
I am a survivor.
Now, I don’t know if all of these affirmations are true. There are probably some pretty credible arguments out there that I’m not really a yoga master. That said, after six months of continuous practice, I’m a lot closer to mastery now than I was back in January of this year.
I’m not sure I would have believed I could be any of these things if it had not been for the epic framework of the pilgrimage to force me into taking on some of these challenges.
What is your internal dialog telling you? What might you accomplish if you just assume that you are the thing you want to be? Do you have a dream that you’ve ignored for some time due to fear or responsibility or because you think someone might think it’s silly?
Go after that dream. You might be surprised when you find the talents your mind and body have been hiding from you. Speak what you want to be boldly and tell the universe that “I am….” The universe will come to your aid.
I am an expedition leader.
I am able to talk to strangers and ask them for help.
I am observant.
I am tougher than I think.
I am a yoga master.
I am creative.
I have something to share.
I am a graphic designer.
I have a vision.
I am a marketer.
I am an advertising executive.
I am a survivor.
Now, I don’t know if all of these affirmations are true. There are probably some pretty credible arguments out there that I’m not really a yoga master. That said, after six months of continuous practice, I’m a lot closer to mastery now than I was back in January of this year.
I’m not sure I would have believed I could be any of these things if it had not been for the epic framework of the pilgrimage to force me into taking on some of these challenges.
What is your internal dialog telling you? What might you accomplish if you just assume that you are the thing you want to be? Do you have a dream that you’ve ignored for some time due to fear or responsibility or because you think someone might think it’s silly?
Go after that dream. You might be surprised when you find the talents your mind and body have been hiding from you. Speak what you want to be boldly and tell the universe that “I am….” The universe will come to your aid.
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